iKaitlynn

♥ ikaitlynn ♥: 我在寻找周诗敏，颜玉娴，刘沁宣……
有谁人知道我可以怎样联络她们吗？: "我在寻找周诗敏，颜玉娴，刘沁宣…… 有谁人知道我可以怎样联络她们吗？"

I still like you.
I will never change.
I am still the same.

I miss my spotlight
T_T
these few years,
it seems like my spotlight isn't glowing anymore

until today
a technician came and confirmed the problem

very happy with her existence
she say she feels very old to talk to me like that
and she hates that feeling

but when I think again
this doesn't seem like a bad conversation
cuz I will realise how bad am I now
since that she hates it so much
she still tells me
which means I've reach a stage where controlling is much needed

self-control is what I need the most
being long-term over self confident is no good
I made myself feel good
others made me feel bad

I'm thankful that I have these kind of pure hatred people surrounding me
and because of this,
I can stand up faster
realising my mistakes faster

now that I'm thinking far,
when I reach the society,
people will make me feel good, as if!
I will not realise my mistakes as fast as in school
the results and the attitude differs
school is a very pure thinking place
but the society is different
which kinda scares me now

I feel so terrible now
but I'm going to end this feeling within this MONTH
I have faith in myself
than I can fulfill this wish

(recently added into resolution list)

I am invisible-girl
as I'm not yet a woman's age xD
or at least I fell like I'm invisible

people in this world is so cruel!
God created you & me
aren't we supposed to be the same??


I treated you nice,
then when suddenly I treat you not that nice,
you ignore me totally!

I borrowed you my stuffs, then you lost it,
I didn't make you pay at the end,
but you make me appear like the bad person.

You lost your dad that hit you like a sandbag,
you didn't cry in his funeral
I have a dad which is gonna end his life w/o any notice,
I told you I dun want the death God to take away my dad,
(cuz "someone impt to me" 's gf died, many ppl died that time)
You told me to not say things like that.

I am stupid
I am naive
I even asked my mum if I am important to her
knowing the answ is what I expected, yes

Things didn't go as I expected since form 3
why so?
my own-found/thought reasons
form 3 in morning class is the weakest
the teachers will not let you be president of any society
cruel eh?
so ever since my form 3 life,
I was ignored by tchers and friends,
myb not every single person la

I wasn't under the spotlight during std 1 til 4
It all changed when I reach the age of 11
I transfered to SK
I was the only std 5 Chinese girl
I was smart
Trophies were in my hands
My life started to spark
Spotlights, camera lights were surrounding me
I was pampered with attention
I like that feeling
Actually, I love that feeling

And now that it's lost from me
people around me took all the attention away frm me
I become dull
I don't shine anymore
Sad la of course
w/o knowing what I've done wrong
I've even thought of just wait til my U life comes
cuz by then I get new bunch of friends

Now that I've half awaken from my fantasy,
I have to face it
cuz I know it's either now or never
Wash my face, brush my teeth
Shower!
Gotta wake myself up!!

====================================

If I have ever offended you,
please notice me,
as I dun realise my mistakes made

For those who scolded me,
talked bad abt me,
I want to say thank you to you all
cuz w/o you,
I would never get the chance to get till this position.

Remember,
I need you to make me a better person.
You may continue talking... =)

and I literally mean it!!
This is the last and only nov dec holiday in my life
exclude if I join Form 6，
which will be a high chance of a ..... NO

I'm aiming high
and I'm aiming for Matriculation, fyi

Today I cleaned up my creative centers
just fyi, I have 2 creative centers
one is on my book shelf,
3rd rack, on the right side is my creative center
another one is in a red storage box
I call it CREATIVE CENTER
because those are the places I keep my stuffs
that lets me release my creativity (right brain) to the blast!
idk if you understd me or not..
but nvm
I'm fine with that
I keep like arts and crafts in the red storage box
I just rearranged them this afternoon
I was mumbling to myself during the rearranging session
I pretended to be a Missy who opens a
center called the CREATIVE CENTRE
I pretended that there was a customer
and I treated her nicely and promo my center
I said stuffs like these

"Creative Center provides the best right brain exercise"
"We require a high cost because we provide the best materials for your children"
"Each child that is sent here will have their very own storage box. They can decorate it with anything or any ways they like"
"We will provide another bag for your child to put contest tools inside. And yes, we bring them to competitions, but if you are not satisfied with this, we can always not bring them. The colour of the bag is chosen based on the section in the form."
etcetera

So after those mumbling,
I went back to my school stuffs,
I realised my Physics testament was incomplete
Clean / empty to be precise
in the end I decided to sit down and do some question
the first question......
I forgot how to do
I was so terrible that I couldn't even complete a question w/o the help of my reference books
talking abt reference books,
I tidied up my book shelf
I have so many reference books that even one full rack was not enough!
I needed to stack some of them horizontally
as they are a bit too tall/ long

I've decided to sleep early today
like..... 9.40pm
so if there is no obstacle,
I will do that =)
and also remember to charge my unnamed phone
Wheeeee~~~

Guess what?!
I've found my new year's resolution =)
So happy
and here's the list

1. Completing copy 2 out of 5 log books
2. Paint my room wall
3. Utilize my whole afternoon with studies/revision
4. Master my katagana and hiragana
5. Be KK's president
6. Stay in Thisle
7. Make a sand castle
8. Get a hard plastic protector cover for my W20 Zylo
9. Download a new theme that is nice for my phone
10. Think of a suitable name for my Zylo
11. Meet Stephinine
12. Take a new picture of Stephinine
13. Get to know new people
14. Find a BF
15. Get my driver's license
16. Swim in Vanice Hill
17. Play ping pong in Vanice Hill
18. Drink 2 bowls of birds' nest
19. Drink 2 bowls of frogs' saliva
20. Wear lab coat in the lab during experiment
21. Take a picture of me in the lab doing experiment with my lab coat on
22. Buy a new set of Buncho Poster Colours
23. Get real close to teachers and help me to enter USM